My Fragmented Self
Someday, you will pick the person you want to be and commit to it with all that you have. Someday, you will find the voice to say who you are and not care how it sounds to others. Someday, you will learn how to juggle the teaching, writing, mothering, loving, and living without the stress eating away at you...without always feeling that something is being neglected. Someday, you will actually believe you deserve the gifts you have. Someday, you will be enlightened. Someday, you will change the world. Someday, you will find balance.
Until then, you will be broken into a dozen different selves. Until then, you will be silent when you should speak your mind. Until then, you will feel the pulse of fear in your blood, electric and jagged--how will you do it all today? Until then, you will highlight others' successes and downplay your own. Until then, you will stumble, fall, and rise. Until then, you'll avoid the news broadcast because it will just have another story of war, destruction, or of little Amish girls being shot to death in their tiny schoolhouse--you'll be lost in the waist-high paper corn stalks rustling just beyond the window frame barricade...this whisper, the last comforting sound these children heard before another crazed man pulled another trigger. Until then, this is an imperfection. Until then, like everyone, you must work to find your way.