Thursday, April 19, 2007

The Stillness After

I wanted to go out into the world and drop poems in random places as they are doing here today. Especially after a week like this one I feel like someone happening upon a poem taped to a bathroom mirror or tucked into a textbook could be a comfort, a blessing in miniature. The truth is, I haven't intersected much with the world this week. Boy-o was in the hospital yesterday for tests and to be re-hydrated from the illness that only now seems to be lifting from his delicate little body, a full week after it began. My minor private worries are nothing against those of the wider world. I am thinking of the Nor'easter that flooded my basement and pounded against our strange it is that we could watch this storm gather and hit from miles away--from whole days away. Then human tempests can bubble up and rage over a campus and we have no forecaster telling of the accumulating clouds on the horizon.

My magnolia was burned in the freezing temperatures...the petals are dropping in brown-edged surprise. I've been reading a book of poems that sing to me in my chair by the window. My own words are quiet just now...I'm tired in a way that only the parent of a sick little one can be tired--my bed has been a nest of clouds. The weather has been winter all over again. Tomorrow, I have been told by those who can predict the skies that we will have sunshine in abundance. Radiant--warmth--light breaking all over the stunned garden. Over me. Over my broken blossoms. I plan to sit my body in the brightest slice of sun and let it sink in. I hope to gather up my words in a notebook like I did these fallen petals--putting them in a small clay nest my oldest made for me when she was three years old. Rachel Wetzsteon's words are the ones I offer in the meantime while I'm drifting.

by Rachel Wetzsteon

An agitation shakes the trees:
this tumult always seemed to me
the oldest motion, the turbulence
all others copied. As blossoms drift
down to the moist air, so blessings come
to those who wait long enough; when
pollen falls, the flight recalls
a fragile friendship dying. I never thought
that when petals touch the ground
the plenitude might stop there, the fragrance
be neither portent nor memory, but only
sweet smells lasting as long as the walk home.
It is spring; flowers fly everywhere.
And all night a low voice chides me
for never giving my all to the moment;
a question forms and grows urgent
and I won't take no for an answer:
if I gave up stories, what would become
of the gust, and the scatter, and the stillness after?
Would the trees be robbed of what made them priceless
or let their riches loose as never before?

(Sakura Park, 2006)


Blogger Pauline said...

This a wondrous post - full of angst and yearning and weariness and then, at the end, infused with sunshine. It's like poetry in prose form. Little bits - "the petals are dropping in brown-edged surprise" and "I'm tired in a way that only the parent of a sick little one can be tired--my bed has been a nest of clouds" and "light breaking all over the stunned garden. Over me. Over my broken blossoms" are beautiful expressions. Hope your little one is well again and that you have hours of rest in the warmth of tomorrow's sun...

12:13 PM  
Blogger paris parfait said...

Beautiful post, Delia - love the poem, the photos and most of all, your writing. I've been preoccupied with guests, who have at last departed today, so must catch up. So sorry about your son being ill. Hope he's much better soon. xo

12:20 PM  
Blogger Regina Clare Jane said...

What a time you have been through... hope the little one gets better soon. You posted a lovely poem, so full of words we all need to hear.
Thank you...

1:14 PM  
Blogger Amber said...

That poem is lovely, but your own words are enough for my heart. They are so rich.

I am sending up prayers for your little guy. I am so sorry to hear he is sick, and you are weary...I hug you now. Feel it?


1:25 PM  
Blogger Crafty Green Poet said...

A beautiful poem by a poet new to me, thanks for sharing. Your writing is beuatiful too. Sorry your son is ill, hope he gets better soon.

2:13 PM  
Anonymous acumamakiki said...

Your words and photos are so powerful D. Please let the sunshine come - I'm so desperate for spring to show herself. I'm sending healing thoughts to Boy-o and also your weary parent self, there's nothing like that kind of tired. Take good care of yourself. xo

2:54 PM  
Blogger daisies said...

it has indeed been a draining week ~ hopefully the sunshine will emerge, the snow will fade (i awoke to snow and it somehow fit my mood), children will breathe in healthy air and run over lawn's green and we will all be rejuvinated ... sending you love and thanks for introducing me to a new beautiful poet :)

3:23 PM  
Blogger ...deb said...

Hmmm...lovely words, so many browned petals, here. Even the distilled sadness was a pleasure to read.

Hope your boy is better and soon.

6:38 PM  
Blogger Vanessa said...

sending love and hoping for rest and sunshine for you

7:55 PM  
Blogger Tammy said...

I'm so glad he's finally feeling better, Delia. I wanted to write a poem to the families at VirginiaTech. My words would not come as I tried to put myself in their shoes. Here in CA we are receiving threats of a similar shooting and the fears are high.

Peace & warmth

9:55 PM  
Blogger strauss said...

What absolutely beautiful writing you have. I love the way you string your words together, so lyrical. What a pleasure to read them. Ho sincerely hope you son gets better soon, and test prove it is nothing but a bad case of some awful bug, but is gone now.

10:33 PM  
Blogger jenica said...

your words always astound me. in verse form or not, your words are poetry. i hope you do get soul grazing sunshine on the morrow!

4:54 AM  
Blogger gautami tripathy said...

Hope all is well soon. You have the ability to paint vivid pictures with your words. I loved the photos too.

Thanks for your visit to my blog. You are always welcome.

9:56 AM  
Blogger Claire said...

Oh my. Beautiful post.


2:32 PM  
Blogger January said...

I hope your little one is feeling better.

"I'm tired in a way that only the parent of a sick little one can be tired" --This I understand. If your head is a nest of clouds, know that clouds always break in favor of sunshine.

The rain here has been awful too, but we finally have warmer weather. Hope the sun is shining where you are.

6:13 PM  
Blogger Lacithecat said...

That was beautiful! I wanted to let you know ... since I often lurk (oh that sounds bad) .... that I have actually tagged you for a Thinking Blog Award.

Its always a joy to stop by and read your posts, even if I don't often comment.

Smile ...

6:41 PM  
Blogger angela said...

gosh, i hope your little one is better. i have been right beside you this week.
i have plans for soaking in the sunshine that is on the way. i hope you are able to enjoy it's warmth too.

9:28 PM  
Blogger Amber said...

Thinking about you and your sweet boyo. I hope he is all better?

Hugs and love.


1:14 AM  
Blogger MAHIMA said...

A beautiful post.
Stumbled into your blog by chance.
Its beautiful.Poetic.Sensitive.
You probably already knew that.
this is just to say your blog is great. and thought provoking. and rich.

8:23 AM  
Blogger MAHIMA said...

I love these words:
"I hope to gather up my words in a notebook like I did these fallen petals"

8:27 AM  
Blogger wish studio said...

glad to hear your wee one is healing...these are hard times as a momma. love to think of you blessing the world with your beautiful words:) what a wonderful idea! reminds me of keri smith leaving bits of inspiration everywhere (she has a new book about leaving art around coming out this fall). warm thoughts, mindy

8:32 AM  

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