SPC--Environment Three





Sometimes, I want to live outside...my feet in clover, my head in the trees. For me, there is no greater place of inspiration. This week, I took many photos on our woods walk, but none of the ones of me turned out. Nature decided on my invisibility in every shot with a well-placed tree limb or an unexpected shadow, multiple ones catching only my hairline or the edge of my nose. This photo shows me at my primary writing station instead. The place I was avoiding a little bit with my longing for heavy green leaves, grasses underfoot, paper lanterns after dark and the first fireflies skirting the edges of the yard--always a bit out of the children's reach.

My inspiration board is newly finished for now--I've hooked coiling S-clips to images and ephemera that speak to me about the season or the book I am creeping ever closer to finishing. I have the portrait of Frida Kahlo done by my oldest girl when she was just seven-years-old, shells I picked on the beach a week ago during the first extended time spent with my father in sixteen years, a segment of Jack Kerouac's journals, a photo of the Dalai Lama, another of Edgar Allen Poe, haiku written by Chiyo-ni, a tarot card, images of birds (who feature in my novel), the latest postcard from my beloved teacher, Natalie Goldberg, the dollar I was handed in the checkout lane which had "IMPEACH BUSH" scrawled all over it with words like: "Protest, Demonstrate, Boycott, Speakout, Investigate, Question, Observe" inked all around the edges. I have photos I took from my time in New Mexico, the longing to get back to that place gritting in my teeth in the past few weeks...A letter my father wrote to my mother when he was in the Navy...A picture of a mother and daughter knitting (yes, story-related all).

There are other things on this board, though...things that I never would have in my possession if I'd never started this blog. Every single time I think I'm "done" with blogging, something reminds me of how this virtual support community has bolstered my writing, my creativity, and myself. There is a Lady in the upper left corner of my board, which brings to mind the inspiring day I spent in NYC with this talented author (whose book is out this week!). She's offered me creative encouragement and the most incredible tooth-fairy advice possible (I'm not kidding)...and I cannot wait to read her book with my girl. I also have a piece of driftwood sent from her precious lake--which was a part of the little package of heart-shaped stones she so kindly offered me just because I mentioned how I collected them. A photo from this woman's magical lens is on the far right and a card and some spent peony blossoms from another creative writer's shores have their place...as does a swatch I knitted from the gauzy yarn this badass derby mama gifted me with a while back. These little things (and the comments each of you leave behind for me here) remind me that I'm not alone in the creative wilds every day when I sit down to work. I've found that the perfect kindness of "strangers" via blogging has compelled me to search out creative connections in L-I-F-E and I now have a writing group I cherish, and a deeper authenticity about myself with the family and friends who've always meant the world to me.

So, yes...this indoor environment has given me many gifts. Lately, I have been back in the place I've created out of paper and pen in Migration Summer. It took some effort with the kids' school finishing and my teaching beginning to get back here. Now that I am immersed in it again, I find that I'm spending my days in two worlds. I'm pushing a swing and thinking about how Joe has pushed his children out of his life...watching boyo climb a tree and considering the twisted roots underground of my invented family's secrets...catching adolescence glinting in Petunia's profile and realizing my daughter characters' thinly veiled beauty emerging. I drive to work and compose subplots in my head in the car; a student looks a little tired to me and her weariness sparks insight into Gwen's situation. M. kisses me and words rise through my lips. Creativity is a current we can tap into wherever we find ourselves...this photo is just one moment in the flow.